When the Missionary Forgets to Seek God

 

Missionary, evangelist, servant of Christ—how is your soul? I’m not asking about your results in the mission field, nor about the souls you have reached. I’m also not asking about the difficulties, persecutions, or even illnesses you have faced. I’m asking something deeper: how is your spirit before God? The Word shows us that even men of God suffered from physical illnesses. Paul wrote to Timothy: “No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments” (1 Timothy 5:23). Epaphroditus, Paul’s companion, became so ill that he nearly died (Philippians 2:25–27). And even Lazarus, a friend of Jesus, became sick and died (John 11:12). This reminds us of a profound biblical truth: even though our spirit has been born again unto God, we still dwell in a body subject to the consequences of sin. But today, I want to invite you to look beyond physical pain. I want to ask you the question that the Spirit of God has been asking my heart again and again: “How is your soul?” During the year 2013, my wife and I were constantly on the streets of Bolivia—evangelizing, praying for people, going from city to city. The work was intense, and we were seeing fruit. Yet, a deep anguish began to fill my heart. I tried to understand what was wrong—after all, I was doing the work of God. Then, in prayer, the Spirit showed me: “Your time of seeking the Lord has decreased drastically.” That shook me. I thought, “But Lord, I’m serving You! I’m preaching the gospel!” And it was at that moment that I understood: the Spirit of God is not satisfied only with what we do outwardly. He searches the heart. He sees the motivation, the surrender, the intimacy. Many of us enter the mission field with hearts on fire. But along the way, the busyness, the demands, the projects, and even the results can draw us away from the river of living waters. That’s why the psalmist cries out: “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul longs for You, O God” (Psalm 42:1). Missionary, does your soul still long like that? How many today no longer take delight in the Word! In Numbers 21:5, the people of Israel said, “Our soul loathes this worthless bread,” referring to the manna that came from heaven. They despised divine food! And today? How many missionaries no longer thirst for the Word? How many no longer meditate on it or feed themselves spiritually, living only on outward activity? Zechariah 11:8 speaks of a people who were weary of God. What a tragedy! And what if that happens to us? Proverbs 16:2 warns us: “All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.” You may be doing the work, filled with missionary tasks... but how is your spirit? Psalm 43:5 reveals a psalmist who spoke with his own soul: “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God…” That kind of self-reflection is healthy. From time to time, we need to stop and ask: “Is my soul still strong? Still in love with Jesus? Or am I just fulfilling a mission schedule?” Even in the midst of the work, even when seeing lives being reached, we run the risk of becoming sick on the inside. Communion with the Lord is not automatic. We must keep the flame of worship, meditation, and personal surrender alive. Psalm 103:2 says: “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.” This is the direction of the Spirit: that we walk in constant fellowship with the Lord. This is not optional for the missionary — it’s essential. It’s not enough to be on the field. We must be in Christ — close, connected, nourished by Him. Dear missionary, I have lived through dry seasons on the inside, even while on the field. I have felt my heart grow cold while proclaiming the Good News. And I’ve learned that this is not uncommon. The human soul needs to be constantly refilled by the Spirit of God. We must not grow used to a lack of thirst. Integrity in missions begins within. It’s not just about having a good report — it’s about having a spirit full of grace. It’s not just about doing a lot — it’s about abiding in the love of the Lord. It’s not just about doing for God — it’s about living with God. Missionary, take time to examine your soul. Don’t let the busyness of ministry kill your intimacy. Return to your first love, return to the fountain. Do you remember when you wept in prayer? When the Bible spoke directly to you? When singing alone felt more precious than standing before a crowd? God is calling you to renew your soul. Your strength comes from Him. Your joy comes from Him. Your mission only makes sense in Him. May the Lord strengthen and restore you — inside and out. With love and reverence, Peniel N. Dourado   🎥 VIDEOS ABOUT MISSIONS 👉 CLICK HERE if you’d like to watch our videos on Missionary Reflections on YouTube. **DONATION**